Defence Mode: ON

Yes, I'm relieved..mid-semester tests ended this morning.

Having oneself sitting for exam during high fever was not a joke! It was not a good time to fall sick..darn..! perhaps, it was due lack of sleep and insufficient intake of fluids during CNY holidays..nevermind the weather yet. :( suffering in the exam hall was indeed an understatement of what I truly felt. Papers that involved lots of calculations-Physics & Maths: i screwed them..my head was spinning. I just couldn't think straight. I was cursing myself every minute when i couldn't solve even a simple simultaneous equation. I remembered my sleepiness empowered me when i was answering my English paper. Fortunately those tests lasted an hour each- if they weren't, my agony and suffering couldn't be expressed fully in words. Thanks to my sickness, i didn't study for the tests. I knew how i had answered. Anyway, who cares what would happen next. Let the results be.. I'm recovering :) thanks to some of the friends' concern..

It's freezing..frosty,

the body aches for warmth,

chanting for a surge of fires' heat,

and hope for the end of blizzard,

to shield this frail and fragile self.

Self-infliction

I wonder,

after countless times of betrayal,

I still firm on believing you.

After every single disappointment,

I chose not to question;

but to have faith in you.

My heart sores at times;

with a wound that never heals-

bombarded with continuous perfidy and deception.

I might be asinine, foolish or witless,

to place trust on you,

but deep inside I still wanted to believe you,

all that left to me was endless torment and trauma.

A Fresh Start

2011 was indeed a bizarre year for me where big transformations occurred and more interesting details are embellishing the chapters of my life. From a SPM leavers to a part-time worker to a matriculation student was a unique part of my metamorphosis cycle. Every stages unveiled the wonders in them and enriched me with values to bring me out of my comfort zone. (Well, isn't life is all about learning new things and acquiring new skills?) All the intricate parts of experiences are truly intriguing. I've learned to see things not only the way they are but why and how they were. I've learned to treat things differently-to treat them as a sole entity and to be lenient and not so OCD in certain things. I know i should have look,listen and feel harder to decipher and enlighten the vagueness of life. I cherish moments that i have for reflection and contemplation-i've gotten to know myself even more than before. The last day of 2011 was spent entertaining myself with concerts performed by college's students and a whole great countdown experience with a bunch of new friends :)

p.s. 2012 just started..if the Mayans' prophetic vision is true-let's living life to the fullest and start to appreciate those people around you. Spread your love and 'walk' a exotic and meaningful journey down the path..who knows that you would find what you are looking for all this while.

Treat every tomorrow as a new beginning, new lease of life and hope:)

Chinese New Year is coming and i seriously i can't wait to go home soon!! Cheerio~

Be My Guide

The cerulean blue sea,

sparkling with the rays;

of the exquisite sunset,

shining through the dilemma,

of non-existence,

trapping in a darkest tunnel,

with no direction.

Wishing for a glimmer of hope,

in search of the reality, the truth-

to decipher the code,

to solve the puzzle,

to loosen the knot,

yet-it was still an unanswered prayer,

waiting for a soft whisper of miracle.

MISCONCEPTION

People tend to get oversensitive or upset over certain issues..just from the surface of what they see or hear, but hardly ever they ponder or contemplate the reasons behind it. We are often dragged into the faults of what the majority do although deep in our hearts,we know that we aren't the same(exceptional you may say).. I would not blame people who has generalisation/certain perceptions on my (group/class/race or whatsoever that you can name). Anyway,should I care?? Stop blaming others who make certain statements about you-PROVE to them that you are different and not everyone is like what they thought we are. 'Stop' with all those rantings and complains-it doesn't work-it only makes people certain that you are just another one of them. It doesn't help in improving your status-it just merely making things worse. Wake up!! Try to be more mature and empathy when you are viewing things from another perspectives.

It's Time..

The time has come, it's a vantage point with no turning back. It's not a dream anymore..the picture is getting distinct and more evident day by day. I know i have to face it with just courage and confidence by my side.

It's was rough..

I stood strong,

against the turbulent winds,

a sudden gust of icy gale,

left me shivering and trembling.

I clenched my fists,

my teeth were chattering.

I gather my inner strength,

dragging my legs,

my heart was aching,

my head was throbbing,

I know i'm reaching,

en route to savour the end.